Last night, I went to concert with one of my dearest friends to see his favorite musician. On the way there, he suggested that we listen to the entire new album to familiarize me with the songs. After a few sad songs, he asked about my breakup, and I told him that I was still in the recovery process.

Determined to help me let my feelings out, he played all the sad songs he knew. When he finally asked why I hadn’t cried, the answer seemed so simple to me.

Sure, I haven’t moved on yet. But the thing is—so what? There are so many amazing things and people in my life that I can focus on. Sometimes, our pain comes from focusing our attention and energy on moving on instead of noticing all the beautiful things around us. Sure I still miss him, but it doesn’t bother me. It just reminds me of how grateful I am for the experience and who I’ve become as a result of it. Rather than focusing my attention on how to move on faster, I focus on how to live each day as beautifully as I can. When I do miss him, I allow the feeling to come the same way I allow it to gracefully go.

I didn’t cry because I wasn’t suppressing any sadness. It was just a natural process that I was learning and growing from, and I trust my process completely. That realization was a beautiful moment for me, and I wanted to share it with you.